Christian Husbands and Fathers

We want to be strong husbands and fathers who represent God's Father-heart in our families, our churches, and our communities.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

"Quality Time" or "Quantity Time"?

I have heard men say, "I don't get a lot of time with my family, but I do get a lot of quality time." By this, they mean they try to make their time at home fun for the family, with engaging activities that make lifelong memories. This is not a bad thought, per se.

But let me ask you this: if your son spends most of his time during the day without you, and then you come home and read him a book before bedtime, do you think he will feel great joy in this? Reading the book is great quality time, but is it enough?

Through my own successes and failures I have learned that my wife and children don't just need quality time, they need quantity time. They need my presence with them at dinnertime, on weekends, and at school events. They need me to take them to church every Sunday. They need me to pray with them and read the Bible with them. This takes lots of time, but it's worth it.

When I spend unhurried time with my wife, those hours are priceless for communication and depth in our relationship. When I spend unhurried time with my children, I hear about the joys and struggles of the school day, I hear about friendships that are going well and friendships that are strained, and I hear about their hopes and dreams.

"Quantity Time" is my goal. It's not always easy, but it is the right thing to do.

As I write this, I must confess one personal failing point: I am easily distracted by electronic gadgets. My phone rings at inconvenient times. My e-mails come right to my smart phone. I am often on the computer trying to write articles like this. To the thought of having "Quantity Time" with our families, I should hasten to add this: we need unplugged time. We need times when the gadgets are left in another room while we read the Bible, talk about life-issues, pray, and play together.

Will you join me in a commitment to spend "Quantity Time" with our wives and children?

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